Former National Program Manager Tony Cross is bringing in-person veteran suicide prevention training to his community in November.
Since retiring from The American Legion National Headquarters, former Be the One National Program Director Tony Cross has worked to bring the organization’s veteran suicide prevention mission to the local level.
He took that effort a step further on Sept. 8, and in November he will bring the program’s training to potentially more than 100 people in and around the fast-growing town of New Palestine, Ind.
On Tuesday, Cross delivered a Be the One presentation to members of the New Palestine Chamber of Commerce. And on Nov. 5 in nearby Greenfield, Cross wants to expand that audience.
Cross is bringing in the Columbia Lighthouse Project’s Wendy Lakso, a military suicide prevention expert, to provide Be the One training to what Cross hopes will be more than 100 people. It’s the same training that is providing monthly via multiple virtual sessions.
“We want New Palestine to be a Be the One community,” Cross said. “So on Nov. 5, we’re inviting this Chamber to be our partner – of no cost to you. We’re going to have an evening event with dinner. We’re going to listen to the Columbia Protocol, and we’re going to get to know each other a lot more. We’ll have prizes. But more importantly, we’ll talk about mental health openly. Our challenge today is to destigmatize it.
“The second thing is we want to educate people. All you employers, sometimes we get so caught up in the race that we forget the little things that work. The people that walk in the door five minutes late and you wonder why they’re crying.”
In cases like that, Cross said it’s important to use certain words to let someone know they do matter. “‘I appreciate everything you do. I am so thankful to have you. You are awesome,’” he said. “These are key words that build your morale. These are key things that make a difference in somebody’s life. But sometimes we forget about them.”
A member of Post 182 in New Palestine, Cross also gave a brief overview of the Legion’s history and accomplishments during the Chamber meeting. His audience of more than 40 people included representatives from area financial institutions, the Hancock Health Foundation, the Community Foundation of Hancock County, healthcare offices and New Palestine Community Schools.
But the focus was Be the One, Cross said, sharing, “Be the one to talk to a veteran. Be the one to ask a veteran. Be the one to question a veteran and be aggressive about it.”
Cross shared statistics on veteran suicides, including that one suicide, on average, impacts 135 people. He also said that the trauma a servicemember experiences during military service sticks around after that service ends.
“When a veteran raises his or her right hand and says, ‘I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic,’ you don’t know what that journey means,” he said. “You only know you’re going in. The psychological trauma that people deal with throughout their whole (military) career, it never leaves. It never goes away. So they need that help. They need that open communication.”
Cross then shared his own struggles. “Years ago on a Saturday morning I had a pistol on the counter, a fishbowl, a chair and a TV. I didn’t want to live,” he said. “For 10 minutes I was figuring out how to get the guts to do it. I never told a soul about that. Ever. I never told my kids. Never told my wife. I didn’t tell my friends, because I thought it was an embarrassment. I thought it was a weakness.
“It’s not a weakness. It’s a strength. That’s why you want to talk to somebody if you think they’ve got a problem. Because you do not know what’s going on in their life. I had my worst day. And I’m not going to have another one.”
- Be the One