Akshay Nanavati shares how the military shaped his image of fear and the debt he owes for this life that’s setting him on a 1,700-mile mission in this week’s American Legion Tango Alpha Lima podcast.
The movie “Black Hawk Down” changed the trajectory of Akshay Nanavati’s life.
Soon after moving to the United States at age 13 from India, Nanavati got into drugs, alcohol and lost friends to addiction. Then he watched on screen the valor of American servicemembers dying to protect their battle buddy. He quickly got clean, read books on military and life in combat, and joined the U.S. Marine Corps.
“That movie touched my soul,” Nanavati said. “That suffering to not only find greatness within you but doing it for others.”
Nanavati is this week’s special guest on The American Legion Tango Alpha Lima podcast. He talks about how the Marines taught him to overcome his fears and laid the foundation for his book “Fearvana,” and how he’s about to embark on something that’s never been done before.
Nanavati deployed to Iraq in 2007 as an infantry non-commissioned officer. He lost friends on the battlefield and then when he returned home to suicide. He too was struggling, diagnosed with PTSD and on the verge of suicide after five days of binge drinking.
“I always say, if you don’t seek out a worthy struggle, struggle is going to find you anyway. That was the rock bottom moment I needed to rise back up and climb the abyss which led me to delve deep in neuroscience, psychology, spirituality, confronting my own demons.”
That confrontation led Nanavati to writing “Fearvana,” which is “to combat the demonization of fear and suffering as a whole – to say that suffering is not bad, fear is not bad, stress is not bad.” And that post-traumatic stress does not mean it’s a disorder.
When coming back from Iraq, “I struggled with crowds, loud noises. I struggled with survivor’s guilt. I was told these are symptoms of a disorder. But these are very normal human responses when I spent seven months in a place where loud noises meant death. That’s not disorder. That’s a normal human response to war.”
Writing “Fearvana” also encouraged him to confront his fears of heights, open water and tight spaces through rock climbing, sky diving, scuba diving and cave exploring.
The book and how he lives was also inspired by a photo.
Nanavati has a picture of a friend he lost in Iraq on his wall and under it he wrote, “This should have been you. Earn this life.”
“This was the fuel to write the book,” he said. “To help others navigate their own suffering and turn it into nirvana, turn it into bliss. And who I am today – sober and pursing something quite daunting.”
Nanavati is making a 110-day, 1,700-mile solo trek across Antarctica – no dogs to pull supplies. “I’m the dog. I’ll be hauling about a 400-pound sled for 10 to 12 hours a day for 110 days, completely alone. I will geographically be the most isolated life form on the entire planet for portions of that journey.”
What drew him to the challenge was the intense amount of physical, mental and emotional suffering the experience will elicit. “Not the suffering itself, but what the suffering gives you access to. You have to battle the dragon to find the treasure. In terms of voluntary suffering, there was nothing like it.”
Nanavati is not known in the polar exploration he said, so what makes him think he can do this where he will face unforgiving weather, stark whiteness for miles and solidarity?
“I firmly believe I can do this thing that’s never been done. It’s going to war with yourself to cultivate, ‘I can do this thing.’ You can’t talk to yourself in a mirror and say, ‘I’m awesome, I’m awesome.’ You have to prove it to yourself. It has to be earned.
“When I’m struggling on an expedition, I’ll remember that there is a debt I owe for this life. Earn it. It becomes fuel to drive you forward. But you have to confront it to face it and turn it into an ally.”
Follow Nanavati’s journey across Antarctica.
In this episode, hear how Nanavati has been training for the expedition across Antarctica, like dragging tires and the comments he heard, his one lifeline, time-saving strategies for sleep and his own Wilson from the movie “Castaway.”
Co-host Adam Marr and Joe Worley also discuss:
· A bike journey across the United States to the 9/11 Memorial in New York City. “It has a presence. There is a feeling there,” Worley said. Listen to the Tango Alpha Lima podcast series honoring the 20th anniversary of Sept. 11, where survivors, pilots, firefighters, servicemembers and others share their story from the day we never forget.
· The $100-million VA mistake.
· Post 58 in Oklahoma using gaming to provide veterans camaraderie and support.
Check out this week’s episode, which is among more than 260 Tango Alpha Lima podcasts available in both audio and video formats here. You can also download episodes on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or other major podcast-hosting sites. The video version is available at the Legion’s YouTube channel.
- Tango Alpha Lima