Black sedan pulls to curb Quick death of engine Two military uniforms unfold Black dress shoes march up steps Doorbell chimes warning Your son, your son My husband’s hand reaches For the brass knob No, I want to scream Don’t open it I back step into living room Oven mitt on each hand Sit on edge of couch, muscles rigid This is not happening, I reassure myself Not here, not this house Low voices at door My eyes dart around room Find comfort from photo on mantle A little boy smiles back My heart thumps wildly My husband leads the men inside To me He sits down, grip
Black sedan pulls to curb
Quick death of engine
Two military uniforms unfold
Black dress shoes march up steps
Doorbell chimes warning
Your son, your son
My husband’s hand reaches
For the brass knob
No, I want to scream
Don’t open it
I back step into living room
Oven mitt on each hand
Sit on edge of couch, muscles rigid
This is not happening, I reassure myself
Not here, not this house
Low voices at door
My eyes dart around room
Find comfort from photo on mantle
A little boy smiles back
My heart thumps wildly
My husband leads the men inside
To me
He sits down, grips my arm
His face already crumpled, wet with tears
Don’t they know it’s almost dinner time
These men with thin-lined mouths
Furrowed brows, slow gestures
Supper will burn
One shuffles his feet
Mr. and Mrs.…
We’re so sorry…
I stare at the black mole on his left cheek
Its irregular edges
Pale, smooth skin surrounds it
This grown boy whose lips move
Won’t stop moving
Shot down, enemy territory, killed in combat…
Strange hum begins in my throat
Fills my ears
Blocks out all sounds
The room, house, neighborhood
I shake my head back, forth
A mistake, I tell myself
Avert my eyes back to the little boy
Just a visit
Everything is fine
My son is fine
My husband jerks forward
Oh, God, he cries
Both men grab for his shoulders
He collapses to knees, hands
Body shaking, heaving
He retches violently onto white carpet
God, indeed, I want to swear
A foul-smelling mess
I race to kitchen for paper towels
Wonder what has come over him
In front of company, no less
I’ll never get that stain out.
- Your Words