Memories flourish at the Wall

Clotilde Szelkowski remembers John Souther as an “all-around wonderful person” who could be a fun-loving prankster with a serious side.

Souther’s memory is what motivated Szelkowski to make the trip from Colorado to Washington, D.C., for Memorial Day commemorations at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.

“The ultimate sacrifice my brothers and sisters paid is what brings me out today,” said Szelkowski, a member of Post 1 in Denver. “I don’t remember when (Souther) was killed. I don’t want to remember. I just know he’s there on the Wall, and he is probably the No. 1 reason. But the others are the No. 1.1 reason. None of them are any more important than the others.”

Szelkowski, who served as a Navy corpsman, visited Souther’s name on the Wall. “I try to remember when we were kids because that’s when I knew him. Otherwise I totally break down.”

This year marks the 35th anniversary of the Wall. During the Memorial Day Observance at the Wall ceremony on Monday, American Legion National Vice Commander Paul Espinoza laid a wreath on behalf of the nation’s largest veterans organization.

“To be laying the wreath fills my heart,” said Espinoza, of New Mexico. “They did something out there for us so that we can be out here today at the Wall honoring them.”

Espinoza reminded Americans about the true meaning of Memorial Day.

“Memorial Day is about your close loved ones who have passed away — to remember them and to remember all veterans,” Espinoza said. “It’s also important for civilians to remember all Vietnam War veterans, how hard it was for them out there and how we lost them. So many are still missing. Keep them in your heart and every day remember why you are living in the United States of America.”

Julie Kink knows the sacrifice all too well.

She is a Gold Star sister of helicopter pilot David Kink, who was killed in 1969 at age 19.

“David lost his life after one month in Vietnam when his helicopter crashed due to a ground explosion,” she said. “I was 8. I barely knew him. The lanky, gentle big brother I said goodbye to at a Madison, Wis., airport in 1969 would be 67 years old today. I have seen 17,000 more sunsets than he had a chance to see.”

Referring to the memorials, she said, “these things ensure that America will never forget.” But it took her time to be able to let herself learn more about her brother’s service in Vietnam.

“For those of us who lost someone over there, there was an unwritten rule you cannot talk about the war. Not here, not now,” she said, reflecting to a different era. “Today it is OK to talk about Vietnam.”

It took Kink 25 years to be able to talk to people about her brother and reach out to his fellow veterans who knew him. “Eventually I found men who trained and flew with David who helped me learn not only how he died but more importantly how he lived. Finding his friends has brought me closer to David,” she said.

Veterans who served side-by-side with those memorialized on the Wall exchanged handshakes, war stories and greetings of “Welcome home, brother.” They also paused to remember their fallen comrades.

Mark Muller, who lives in Delaware but is a member of Post 331 in Stone Harbor, N.J., made his first visit to the Wall on Memorial Day.

“I have three friends who are enshrined on the Wall,” said the Navy veteran who was in country 1965-66. “I felt obligated to come down here for them and the other guys on the Wall.”

Danny Monahan was one of those friends who Muller has never forgotten. “He got killed on his second tour,” Muller recalled. “His daughter was born after he left home. Such a waste.”

Reggie Knight, a 68-year-old Army veteran, lives in the nation’s capital and visits the Wall several times annually, including every Memorial Day.

“It’s been 47 years and I haven’t forgotten,” said Knight, a Legionnaire. “It’s such a tragedy. Too many men and women lost their lives. I haven’t forgotten them.”